


The day after...

by jadedreamer



Series: OT5 [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Gen, OT5, Too many feels
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-22
Updated: 2016-02-22
Packaged: 2018-05-22 17:18:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6087997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jadedreamer/pseuds/jadedreamer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The announcement of Zayn departure has gone public but the boys didn't get a chance to react because they had a show to perform but after the performance. The boys all keep to the hotel floor. Emotions run high as they mourn the lose of their brother.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> apologize in advance for the feels.

“HE FUCKING LEFT. FUCK HIM YOU KNOW ” Liam screamed as the bottle flew across the hotel room.

Niall sat there nervous he would do something reckless. Liam had been drinking all day. Music blared from the headphone he had on. He just kept dancing about and filling his stomach with the contains of the mini bar.

Liam turned to Niall. Anger hurt betrayal written all over his red rimmed eyes.

“He fucking left. No goodbye. Nothing” Liam said his voice cracking, the lump in his throat made it hard to breath. Lifting the bottle to his lips. There was no longer a burn from the liquor. It seeped into him allowing him to numb everything.

Fresh tears streamed down his face. He continued to dance around the room when he put his fist through the wall.

“What the fuck Liam” Harry screamed as he entered the room. Pulling the headphones from his head. Niall grabbing bottle from his hand. Both restraining him so he didn’t do any more damage to himself or anyone else. Liam hand was a bit blood but nothing serious. It wouldn’t bruise. He was numb. He felt nothing. Nothing was better then the hurt, anger, and lose he felt.

“What you think you’re the only allowed to be upset? That you can go around fucking punching holes into wall. That we all don’t feel thr same way you do? Find your fucking chill dude.”

“He left” Liam whispered into Harry neck.

“I know.” Harry stroked his head. Trying to calm him.

There was a loud bang down the hall.

“Fuck” Harry cursed “Niall”

“I’ve got him” Niall got up and left the room to make sure Louis hadn’t hurt himself.

Liam pulled away from Harry, while one of the Harry’s. The other one seemed to be behind him.

“You’re going to bed” both Harry’s commanded.

“No fuck that” Liam drunkenly got up and searched for his phone.

Harry knowing what he was about to do. “I don’t think that is a very good idea.”

Harry gently guiding Liam back to the bed. Heavy tears streamed down his face. He couldn’t live like this. He needed him here. It was the only way for him to make it they only had a few months. Why now. Why not fight to stay?

Louis and Niall stumbled into the room. It was late and they all had a show to do tomorrow.

Niall was shaking, his anxiety getting worse as both Liam and Louis kept shouting.

“Shower now” Harry said

Niall dragged Louis into the over sized stall with Harry and Liam right behind.

“Stay” Harry pointed at both of them. Grabbing the shower head. Harry sprayed them with cold water to wake their ass up. They didn’t have time to deal with this tonight. They all needed sleep.

Louis and Liam tried to get away from the spray but Harry was a sure shot. Once they looked less drunk, which at this point guaranteed they would black out soon.

Niall had stood there watching with towels in hand, waiting for each to step out. They undressed and dried off. The haunted look never leaving their eyes.

Louis kept touching his BUS 1 tattoo, the skin surrounding slightly pink. He mumbled to himself.

Harry turned over the bed covers to the King size. Slowly Liam crawled in followed by Louis both curled around each other. Harry started to undress and looked at Niall, who sat on the armchair staring at the hole in the wall. His nerves were getting the best of him. His posture ridge with a slight tremor.

“Hey” Harry whispered “he’ll be back”

Niall looked at him, hope flashed across his clear blue eyes but faded quickly. They all knew the truth. It was too late. They ran out of time and now they needed to push through this.

Grabbing Niall’s hand “Come on. Just like old times”

Niall undressed down to his boxers. Climbing in next to Liam while Harry curled around Louis after turning off lights and locking the door. Liam and Louis had fallen asleep. The tears drying into their breads.

A space still open for him. Harry placed his phone down.

“He left” Liam mumbled in his sleep

“I never left” his voice roughly whispered through the tiny speakers. “I wish I could be there now. I don’t have a choice. I’m so sorry”

They gathered closer together. The room silent but the deep breathing and slight snore. Harry stared up at ceiling. He could hear crying, looking to see everyone had fallen asleep. Touching this face, it was him. Tucking his face into Louis shoulder, his body shook with every emotion he kept in check the entire day. Louis pulled him closer.

It was going to be a hard road to travel but they had each other. They’d make it. At least that’s what Harry prayed for.


	2. Trying to be brave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been months since Zayn's left, they were getting better but they still needed answers. Management only gave them the same story as the public got. Getting fed up with being fed lies, they go seek the one source who held all the truth, Zayn. Will Zayn be able to give them the answer they want. Would they be able to forgive him for his actions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this while listening to Adele "love in the dark" and if you've heard it. It kinds helps get an idea for what's to come.

Bang Bang

Someone was at the door, Zayn turned his head looking at the clock half asleep unable to read it, his eyes never opened. The green light a blur to him, he rolled over and ignored who was at the door, they'd leave soon enough. The banging continued. He rolled over and grabbed his phone to see if his family had called him and told him they were coming. The bright light blinding him, he'd only gotten about an hour of sleep. He saw no missed calls so he went back to sleep. He had just fell back asleep when the banging continued. Grumbling he got out of bed, the rain was coming down hard making it hard to see what car was sitting out in the drive. No one but his family knew about this place, it was some decent home just on the outskirts of London. He hid out from the public. He hoped management hadn’t found out this place. Rain had been coming down hard so it made it hard for him to see who was in his drive from his stairway window, whoever it was continued to knock obnoxiously on the door

Bang! Bang!

"I'm fucking coming" Zayn shouted as he reached the door swinging it open.

The last person he expected to see on his front steps was Louis, who was drunk and leaning on the door frame for support. He was soaked all the way through, his hair a mess on his head. 

"Why did you leave?" He asked, instead of greeting, shoving his way into the house.

"Louis?" shocked that his friend stood on his front steps.

"Answer the fucking question" Louis shouted, his blue eyes cold as the words left his lips.

Zayn sighed, he knew he wouldn't get through to Louis when he was like this "I had too"

"You fookin had too?" Louis laughed "that's rich. Real rich Zayn"

He turned to leave, slowly making his way down the steps.

"Louis how did you get here?" he asked chasing after his friend.

Louis didn't get far, as Harry approached him and whispered something in his ear. Louis pulled out of his grip. But Harry hold was solid as he dragged him back in from out the rain.

"Let me fookin go Harold" He growled

"Zayn" Harry said in greeting as he wrestled Louis into the house.

He hadn't realized there was more voices coming from the black range that sat in his drive. He held his breath, his insides tight -sleep long forgotten. The light hit the soft chestnut hair and blonde head. Zayn ran a hand through his hair. He couldn't do this, it hurt too much. He was promised they would be kept away, until he had a chance to explain his side. This hadn't been apart of the deal.

Zayn watched has his heart approached him, the cold air burned his lungs.

"Why are we here Niall?" Liam whispered,his voice cracking.

The words were meant for only Niall ears but Zayn heard, the words cutting deeper than they should have. Zayn tried to control the tears that burned his eyes.

"Liam" Zayn whispered

They both ignored him as he moved to the side letting them in. Anger burned behind Liam’s eyes as he walked passed him, Niall head hung low as he entered, his knuckles white from how hard he clinched them. A lump formed in his throat as he closed the door.

Fuck Zayn cursed as he punched at the door.

The mood in the living room was heavy and dark, Liam and Louis managed to raid the liquor cabinet and sat next to each other drinking, straight from the bottle. Niall paced the floor mumbling softly to himself. Harry sat there, his features looking calm but those evergreen eyes told a different story. No one said anything. Zayn drank the sight of them in, he never realized how much they have changed in the few short months they have been apart. Louis had looked like he hadn't eaten or slept, his hands slightly shook from anger or lack of nutrient Zayn wasn't sure. Harry was more closed off, his normal open persona no longer coming out to play. Niall fidgeted more, he couldn't sit still even when he tried. Liam wasn’t sleeping, his eyes losing their spark. They all suffered the lose, that knowledge hurt even more. He wasn’t doing any better, Sleep came rarely and he couldn’t keep food down.

No one said anything, they all just sat there looking at him, expecting him to answer them but he didn't have an explanation for them. He had no clue how they found him. This was just as hard on him as it was on them. He never wanted to leave. But he struck a deal with devil and now he had to pay for it.

"Well Harold you brought out here? So speak” Louis slurred waving his glass around. His eyes looking over at Harry as he sat forward but said nothing. He just watched Zayn, as if searching for something. Zayn had to look away first, his eyes searched out Liam

Look at me please Zayn willed Liam to look at him but that never happened. Louis and him sat there passing the bottle between them. Liam looked anywhere but Zayn, Louis on the other hand never took his eyes off of him. Those clear blue eyes filled with pain and anger, which Zayn could do nothing about. Once Louis got upset it took anything short of a miracle to get him to come around and they had more to fix than the others.

Zayn sat down on the steps, that lead into the living area watching them. He couldn't make himself to be any closer, it was hard enough that they were even in the house.

Harry cleared his throat, opening his mouth to speak but nothing came out. his jaw clenched as his throat worked hard.

"Where you ever going to tell us?" Niall said harshly

Zayn sat there and looked at them and begged them to see past his answers because they had to know that it wasn't suppose to be this way. He was trying to protect them, to keep them from hurting anymore then they already were. He shook his head as glass shattered against the wall next to him everyone flinching at the sudden loud noise. The smell of alcohol filled his nose as he looked over at Liam's empty hand clenched into fist.

His eyes blazed with anger "Stop fucking lying to us Z" Liam shouted getting upset now "Stop fucking sitting there and pretending, like you didn’t fucking walk out. If we meant nothing just fucking say it."

Zayn grew upset because to have them sit there and accuse him of something that was out of his control was unfair. The fact that he didn’t know how much of the truth they actually know was what kept him from losing his shit.

"It was the only way" He started to speak his voice breaking, he couldn't continue

"What was?" Harry asked leaning forward from his position.

They all grew tense, sensing anything that came from his lips weren't going to be good. Zayn looked at his four mates, the guys he shared the last four year. He knew had to tell them now before it got worse, it was bad enough he every move was controlled. He was slightly shocked that they managed to get on the property without being being caught. Zayn closed his eyes and replayed that day in his head.

"I couldn't take it anymore after Thailand you know. They made me look shit, for what reason?" Zayn said trying to control his anger "so I called him and told him to fuck off and that I wasn't going to keep being the punching bag. He told me, he had no control what the tabloids said about him, that wasn’t his job. As if he didn’t have the fucking magazines in his back pocket. I didn't have an option, I signed a contract and I had to play along. I never wanted to leave but I called my mum and broke down, she told me to come home. I told her I couldn't leave you guys hanging like that. at least not while we still had shows to do. That night before I left, I called and gave them an ultimatum, that I go home for the short break and regroup or they fire me. Not once did I think that they would pull me out of the band. While I was home, they ran that bullshit excuse about fixing my relationship with Perrie, I didn’t think about it. The night before the news hit the public, I get a phone call telling me I'm being pulled for the tour. When I asked why I got no answer just that my contract was being terminated."

Niall sat down next to him, not touching him but just being there. Zayn gave him a weak smile. "They wouldn't let me call you every time I tried any of your phones it went straight to voicemail. they must have blocked my number from your phones I don't know. They still had control over my social media accounts so I couldn't explain anything to you guys. I hadn’t even realized that they used our Facebook account to let the world know. The fans were upset and there was no way for me to explain my story. A few days after they announced my leaving I got called into the London office. They sat me down and told me that they were going to giving me a solo deal in exchange for me leaving the group. I refused, I didn’t want them to have power over my solo career but it was either I take the deal or I was being sued for breaking the contract.."

"A solo?" Liam asked

"Yeah" Zayn laughed "to finish off our 6 album contract we signed. You guys would push one final fifth album without me and I would push a solo album giving them 6. But they are dragging their feet. They have me working with no one."

"What about your best mate Naughty Boys" Louis said

"Fuck off if you believe that. We haven't made music since last September and you know it.” Zayn shot back “Attacking him on twitter was a dick move"

"He fucking started it attack our fans" Louis started getting anger, Liam grabbing his arm to pull him back

"The same fans who attacked me for leaving” Zayn said looking at him to try and deny it. “and that cheap shot tweet about the filters was what about the fan too?"

Shame flashed across Louis face before he looked away. Harry glared at Louis before turning back to him

"Did you sign the contract Zayn?" Harry asked

Zayn ran his hand through his hair. "Yeah. It was the only way I would be able to make music again. They basically blacklisted me from working with any producers. The only way you guys would be free of them. I was told not to speak a word of this to anyone and if I did they would deny everything and that they would cancel the entire tour; they had the means to cancel most of the shows in cities that weren’t sell. I couldn’t do that to you guys or the fans. While they drafted up the contract, they are dragging me around promotion Little Mix, which is exhausting mate. They are fucking with those girls careers, it's more fucked up than ours. I hate being paraded around like some show dog, coming out to display when they need me. I want nothing more than to be on stage with you guys but I can't. The fans hate me even more and coming back would make me look even worse. I have no way of showing them that I never meant to hurt you guys or them I should have known it was going to be like this."

“So where does that leave us?” Niall asked.

“I dunno know mate. I wish I had just kept my mouth shut. Maybe we wouldn't be having this discussion.” Zayn said “I'm not asking you to forgive me because we would have had to deal with this sooner or later. But I hope our friendship is strong enough to beat this.”

Niall pulled him in for a hug, Zayn lost complete control. He missed them so much. He missed having them there to talk too, especially when shit was hitting the fan. He wish this wasn't happening but the cards have been dealt and they have to make due with what they got.

“I'm sorry mate” Zayn whispered into Niall's neck

“They'll pay for this. You've got nothing to apologize for” Niall held him a minute longer.

Zayn pulled away from Niall to see Liam standing in front of him. He got up and felt the familiar arm wrap around him, this was home. There was nothing he missed more than being in these arms. He was safe there, nothing could hurt him. The world fell away.

“I'm really fucking sorry Liam” Zayn whispered, as he held on to him “I should have told you but I ” his voice getting thick with emotion. “I'm really fucking sorry.”

“Zayn” Liam choked out holding him tighter. They stayed like that for a while, fear that if they let go of each other it wouldn't be real.

Liam pressed a gentle kiss to his lip, Zayn knew he wasn't forgiven but this was a start and he would take it. All too soon Liam warm body stepped away from his. Liam stepped away, just out of reach but Zayn understood. This was too much to take in, to forgive without reconsidering everything.

Harry stood over to the corner with Louis whispering harshly, he watched them for a while. They were hurting and it was starting to show. He hope this would make them stronger. Louis shoved Harry away and headed the back door.

“Louis” Harry shouted but they fell on deaf ear.

Liam and Niall got up and went after him. Harry and Zayn stood there and watched as they chased after Louis, they couldn’t go far the backyard was fenced in but they were small shelter to keep them dry.

The rain had slowed down to a mere drizzle. Louis was outside yelling at Liam, pointing into the house. His words were muffled but they weren’t nice.

“He'll come around” Harry said breaking the silence.

“I don't know. He doesn't forgive easily” Zayn replied

“He’s drunk. He'll be better once he sobers up.”

“Yeah maybe” Zayn turned to him “Are we good?”

“I don’t know. I mean shit, things are getting worse since you left. I just wish you had told us that night”

“How?” Zayn asked “I wasn’t even sure it was really happening. I thought it was a bad dream. That maybe they would change their minds and bring me back. I didn’t think it would go on for this long.”

Zayn sat back down scrubbing his face, he didn't know what to say. He just looked at Harry, his hair was longer and his face skinnier.

“You don't smile anymore” Zayn said

“Nothing to smile about” Harry replied sitting down next to him. Zayn caught the familiar scent of Harry's shampoo.

“You're hair smells nice”

“Yours is gone” he chuckled.

Zayn couldn't help but laugh. “When you gonna cut yours?”

Harry's head snapped up, glaring at him “Never”

“Alright Rapunzel” Zayn said running his fingers through the soft brown locks.

Harry closed his eyes briefly, letting Zayn play with his hair.

“Everything is going to be okay?” Harry asked, even though he meant it as a statement.

“Yeah everything's going to okay.” Zayn whispered, he hoped this words rang true.

They sat there watched the back door waiting for the boys to come back with Louis but they never did. They were both soaking wet again when they came in.

“He needs some space” Liam told Harry.

“You're gonna get a cold staying in those wet clothes. Come on, there dry clothes upstairs and spare bedrooms you guys can crash in.” Zayn said leading them into the rest of the house. He kept looking back hoping to see Louis walk through the doors but he didn't. They refused to sleep anywhere but in Zayn's bed.

“Like old times” Niall said smiling

“Yeah like old times” Zayn said letting them climb in.

Liam soft snoring filled the quiet room, Niall and Harry followed after him. Zayn laid there, hoping Louis didn't fucking hurt himself. How this night was similar to a few months ago when Harry facetime him, he should have told them then but even he wasn't sure what was happening.

Just as Zayn started to fall asleep, the back door opened and closed. He laid there listening to see what Louis would do.

“Fookin hell” Louis drooled rang out in the quiet home.

Zayn laid there and listened for a bit when he didn't hear anything he slowly untangled himself from there others and climbed out of bed, he slowly, he shut the door as he left the room.

Louis was cleaning up the broken glass that was still on the floor as Zayn cleared the landing.

“Watch your step” Louis said as he took the broken glass into the kitchen.

Zayn sat on the bottom step and watched as Louis went back and forth to the kitchen and living room cleaning up. After everything was up to his standard, he returned to the living room and sat on the couch. Zayn made a move to get up

“Don’t. Just don’t” Louis said softly, still looking at his hands

Zayn wanted to argue but it was a long day. “There is a spare bedroom upstairs, the first door to the right of the stairs. The washroom is across from that room, there are dry clothes set out for you.”

Louis just nodded,still not meeting his gaze, he wiped at his face. Zayn nodded and walked back to his room. Standing by the door, he listened as Louis climbed the stairs and entered the spare the bedroom.

Zayn looked over to the bed to see Harry watching him, he just shook his head as fresh tears streamed down his face. He knew Louis would the hardest to get back but he never thought it would hurt this much. Harry tucked him back into bed.

“He’ll come around” Harry whispered as he wrapped Zayn in his arm and held him until they both fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it. Again sorry about the feels. I promise it to not make it so sad next time.


End file.
